Way too early NFL predictions

We’ve entered, or started to anyways, the training camp season of the National Football League. The time where fringe roster guys try harder than they ever have in their life, the rookies get a crash course on the professional game and the long time veterans with a safe spot do their thing. This is a great time of year as we are getting close to actual football. The clashing of pads, the breaking of bones and the glory of beating rivals.

I know in the past I talked about expectations and so forth, but this is somewhat for fun and might not be completely serious. So, please, do not get terribly upset at these maybe absurd predictions for the 2018-19 NFL season.

1. Kirk Cousins will not lead Minnesota to the Super Bowl. Sorry, Vikings fans, no humor here. Cousins hasn’t won in the playoffs and gets his money no matter how he performs. Doesn’t seem like too ideal of a situation.

2. Rob Gronkowski gets hurt. I know, this may not seem outlandish, but given his party lifestyle, he tears his shoulder spiking a keg following a win.

3. Andrew Luck plays the first eight games before getting hurt again. Despite his last name, Luck is anything but lucky. The guy hasn’t played in two years and I don’t know if he’s ever gonna be completely healthy again. What could have been with this kid.

4. Kansas City makes the playoffs with Patrick Mahomes at quarterback. Nothing against Alex Smith, but Mahomes actually can throw the ball more than 30 yards downfield. He should be able to transform the Chiefs’ offense this season with some of the downfield threats they possess.

5. Jimmy Garoppolo will lead the 49ers to nine wins but fall short of the playoffs. What this guy was able to do with a lackluster supporting cast last year was great. There is more tape of him now, but he should be the real deal for San Francisco.

6. Deshaun Watson will help Houston win the AFC South. I love what the Texans did this offseason on defense. Their leaky offensive line is less of a problem with Watson under center. If he stays healthy, the Texans can win the division. If not, well, their head coach may be out of a job.

7. This is the easiest one. Drew Brees will set the all time passing record. He needs less than 2000 yards to pass Peyton Manning. So maybe by week eight or nine, we’ll see Brees shatter the record. He should also break the completions record, 78 off from tying Brett Favre and could make a run at second for passing touchdowns along with Tom Brady. So if you’re into records, keep an eye on those.

7B. Keep an eye on kicker Adam Vinatieri who may break the scoring record this year too. He’s less than 80 points away or so.

8. The Raiders will struggle to win six games. I love Jon Gruden. He got Tampa their lone Super Bowl, but as a coach in 2018? The game isn’t what it was 10 years ago. He’s a great announcer, but can he coach today? I don’t think he can.

9. Baker Mayfield takes over in week six for the Browns who win six games this season. The Browns had a great off-season and a pretty good draft. I think Mayfield takes over early because his moxie is too great to keep on the field.

10. Josh Rosen will take over for Sam Bradford before the third week due to injury. Bradford cannot ever stay healthy so Rosen will get the reigns in Arizona early. He probably gets them to six or seven wins.

11. Sam Darnold will start week one. The Jets have no chance of accomplishing anything this year and Darnold should be able to win the job in camp/pre-season. Why not see what the kid out of USC can do? Most pro-ready player.

12. Bill Belichik retires after this season. I don’t think he has much more left to prove and he may be getting tired of the profession. I’ll miss his sound quips. We’re onto the next prediction.

13. Nick Foles will be traded by week five to a team that needs a QB. Foles had a great playoff run for Philly, and I’m not sure where he ends up, but someone will need him and the Eagles will get some good stuff back.

14. The winner of the AFC will be… New England. Until someone can convince me otherwise, they’re the class of that conference. The winner of the NFC will be… the New Orleans Saints. If that safety makes that tackle, they probably would have gone last year.

15. The winner will be… the New Orleans Saints. Drew Brees retires after winning the MVP trophy, and Tom Brady sulks in his uggs.