Sometimes we all think we could run our favorite football team better than the coaches that get paid to do so. Please note that this does not apply to the high school level. High school sports are meant to be fun. College and professional football coaches can make a lot of mind boggling decisions in the heat of the moment.
Remember the Super Bowl a couple of years ago when Pete Carroll had Russell Wilson throw at the one yard line instead of handing it off to a running back who had the nickname of "Beast Mode?" I think millions of people at once put on the coaching headset and all came to the same conclusion. Pete Carroll was a complete moron by not handing the ball off to Marshawn Lynch.
I myself was in that category. I couldn't figure out why in the world would you not give the football to a running back who has made millions upon millions of dollars to lower his shoulder and run through defenders to find the end zone. How in the world could someone like Pete Carroll know so much more about football than a guy like me?
Then I realize it's simple. I don't break down tape and situations over the course of weeks and months. I don't go to their practices to see what they do to ready themselves in situations like that. You know something though? A proper armchair quarterback doesn't need that kind of logic in our life.
We run on knee jerk reactions always assuming we know best. I've put countless hours into playing sports video games. I have run every kind of offense from the triple option to the air raid system. I have played multiple defenses. I have watched countless hours of football. I think I should know something.
When faced with a third and one, the option is always clear to hand off to the fullback. That play gets five yards most of the time in a Madden video game. Or you just call a play action to fool the defense to get a dump off to the tight end. Who cares if they're showing blitz, don't audible out of it. Just run the play and if we're right, then by golly, we are the best armchair quarterbacks who ever lived.
Speaking of quarterbacks, how blind are these guys really? How can they miss a wide open player 50 yards downfield only to dump it off to a tight end for a five yard gain. I don't care if they were getting dragged down by two defensive players. They are paid millions of dollars to throw that ball down the field in perfect form every single time.
Oh, and that running back, how do you not see those holes? I saw those holes in my living room and I could've done a better job of running through them! My goodness man, how did you make the Pro Bowl only averaging five yards a carry and winning the MVP? Pure trash.
See, this is the tip about being a great armchair quarterback. You are always right. Even when you're clearly wrong, you are right. Being an armchair quarterback is the greatest feeling in the world. That coach is playing the wrong quarterback all the time, until that QB is able to throw for 300 yards and a few touchdowns.
You have to have no patience being an armchair quarterback. You have to scream and yell at the TV about how much of a worthless pile of you know what that third round rookie is. You played high school football for crying out loud! Much like Al Bundy, you know everything that there is to know about football.
We are a perfect coach of having all the knowledge of reading what preview magazines, believing what the talking heads of ESPN say, and all the hours we spend watching football on the weekends. That's all we need to coach. I say we start an uprising to take over football. We can take down the real coaches, and the Armchair Quarterback League can begin.
But nah, I think we'll all just stick to running our fantasy teams to gain some sort of control over the professionals we get frustrated with. Plus, you know, we don't really have to leave the couch either for it.