Sex Signals: Duo sheds light on mixed messages, gender role stereotypes and date rape

Libby Matthews and George Zerante performs a skit about unrealistic fantasies in the world of dating. [Click to enlarge]

From a young age boys are taught to act tough, macho and aggressive. Girls are taught to act like a lady - cross their legs, act sophisticated and be passive. The world of dating and sex is full of mixed messages, say George Zerante and Libby Matthews, with Catharsis Productions 'Sex Signals.' The duo performed a number of humorous improv dating skits for a crowd of about 370 students at BVU this week - shedding light on mixed messages in the world of dating including social pressures, unrealistic fantasies and gender role stereotypes.

The way a woman dresses can be labelled with a derogatory terms instead of seeing the woman as attractive and confident.

Guys are sometimes reduced to 'sex crazed animals' rather than seen as respectful, responsible, intelligent and protective individuals.

"Women don't want to be seen a piece of meat, men don't want to be seen as just animals who eat meat," says Zerante.

Like the world of dating there are many stereotypes and mixed messages that can come along with the issue of date rape.

SCENARIO

David was invited over to classmate Amy's room one night to study. He knew they didn't have a test for three months so assumed Amy didn't want to study, he brought over a pack of beer. He had seen photos of her on Facebook that led him to assume she liked to party. "If you act on assumptions you can tread on some dangerous waters," Zerante says. Amy says she hadn't had anything to eat all day but only one slice of pizza and drank three or four beers, David says. David also consumed alcohol. She told him he had sauce on his face and then leaned over to kiss him. He kissed her back. When he tried to make an advance towards sex, she whispered 'stop.' She told him he was going too fast. She started tickling him. He tickled her back. She whispered 'stop,' again when he made advances at her.

He left the next morning and told her he'd see her later. She nodded. "Everything went well," thought David. Would this be considered rape? She later claimed he raped her. Both individuals were consuming alcohol. She whispered 'stop' but then would end up tickling or kissing him.

However, Zerante and Matthews pointed out that an individual who is intoxicated is not coherent enough to give the verbal consent needed in a situation like this. "Alcohol is a risk factor that never makes things clearer," Matthews says. If an individual wants something from another person it's their responsibility to get consent for it first, they said. They said it was clear David wanted sex and he was trying to initiate it so it was his responsibility to get consent.

If an individual says no, respect their request. Consent may seem awkward or an individual might think it'll kill the mood look for ways to bring it up that feel more comfortable. Ask a person if they feel comfortable or ask them what they want to do.

Many victims of acquaintance rape don't report it. They may feel responsible or fear that they won't be believed. "It's easier to call someone a slut, a liar and say they deserve it than to put blame on something," Matthews says. David argued that the girl was confident enough and could have fought back. She could have been too scared, she may have thought she trusted this individual as a peer. Date rape drugs, including alcohol, affect judgement and a person's behavior can put them at risk it's harder to think clearly, set limits and make good choices, tell when a situation could be dangerous, say 'no' to sexual advances, fight back if a sexual assault occurs, the duo told the crowd.

Some may see an assault happen but feel it is not their business to intervene. "But if we see someone who is completely wasted, we know to take their keys away from them. Make a cultural shift and step in," the two say.

"We want you guys to support victims - to hold them (attackers) accountable so they won't do it again," Zerante says.

False claims of rape aren't that common, say the duo. What would the victim have to gain? Rape victims who press charges for rape have to go through a humiliating medical exam, a lengthy questioning from police and attorneys.

People get a picture of rape from the movies and media as "a woman being attacked by a man in a dark creepy alley." "It makes us feel safe. We just won't go down Rape Alley. But about 80 percent of victims knew their attacker," says Matthews. "Often it can happen in a long term relationship," Zerante adds. The woman can be the aggressor and a male can be assaulted by another male - anyone, regardless of age, sex, race, status or type of dress can be a victim of sexual assault or rape.

For those who have been sexually assaulted or raped or believe a friend might have contact your local police or call 1-800-656-Hope.

Tips:

*Until you fully trust someone avoid being secluded with them, don't be afraid to take some friends with you. Watch out for one another.

*Always order your own drinks and watch them being made. If you leave your drink to use the restroom, don't drink from it again.

*Stay sober and aware. If you're with someone you don't know very well, be aware of what's going on around you and try to stay in control.

*If you see someone being assaulted or feel they are being put in an uncomfortable position, don't be afraid to step in.

*Don't drink something if it tastes or smell strange. But keep in mind, many 'date rape' drugs are colorless, tasteless and odorless.