10 WORST HOLIDAY MOVIES OF ALL TIME

Martin Short and Tim Allen in 'The Santa Clause 3' [Click to enlarge]

Every time you turn on the TV or gather for family DVD night from now through the holiday, you'll be bombarded by Christmas movies - one channel is even launching "The 25 Nights of Christmas" shows.

There are some wonderful holiday flicks, and we'll get to them in the second part of this series, but for every "It's a Wonderful Life," there's a whole steaming mound of holiday rejects. It goes without saying that "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" isn't a hearwarmer, and that the horribly unnecessary '94 remake of the classic "Miracle on 34th Street" should be burned. And that pretty much any of the hundred "Fill in the Blank Saves Christmas" movies or anything featuring the wit and wisdom of the Olson Twins is probably going to be a stomach-turner.

Here's our picks for the worst of the worst. If you must watch them, my advice is to tank up on the eggnog first.

10. Fred Claus (2007) - Vince Vaughn as the unappreciated younger brother of Santa, must go to the North Pole and overcome his jealous selfishness to save the day. Vince has to clean up the potty mouth to make this family fare, and no surprise, what's left of his appeal just isn't very appealing. Same goes for Adam Sandler's "Eight Crazy Nights" Hanukka film. These have less plot than the average Verizon commercial.

9. Deck the Halls (2006) - Matthew Broderick is humorless in a lame neighborhood Christmas decorating war story. Most gags are ripped-off from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and only Danny DeVito managed to make this pointless plot worth staying awake through. A cross-dresser cop and scantily-clad teenagers being oogled by their own fathers makes this both flick as thoroughly icky as it is dull.

8. Black Christmas (2006) - A sorority house stocked with young supermodel-look actresses is about to get a Christmas visitor - and it isn't Santa. Hey what a great idea - let's turn Christmas into a pervy horror movie with an escaped maniac! Shame on them. By the way, that goes double for makers of "Jack Frost," and "Gingerdead Man" and at least triple for "Silent Night, Deadly Night."

7. Surviving Christmas (2004) - I had hopes for this one, but the story of spoiled rich ad exec Ben Affleck "buying" a normal family for $250,000 to spend a scripted Christmas with is so spleen-slenchingly awkward that you literally wince trying to watch it, especially when Affleck tries to hook up with "his sister," the family's daughter, played by Christina Applegate. Blech.

6. Christmas With the Krunks (2004) - Tim Allen's first, but not last, appearance on the Worst list. As a guy fed up with Christmas, Allen's character decides to skip it and go on a cruise instead. But when his daughter comes home at the last minute, he has 12 scrambling hours to set up a gala holiday. About as funny as an IRS audit. Two hours of your life you will never get back.

5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - Hollywood manages to take a brief, beautiful Children's story and turn it into a loud, dull disaster. Jim Carrey is desperate and creepy as the Grinch, and will give your kids nightmares until their junior years in college. If Dr. Seuss were alive, he would sue for malpractice.

4. Jingle All the Way (1996) - There are a few laughs in this one, but Sinbad and Arnold fighting each other for a hard-to-get Christmas Turbo Man toy gets real old real fast. Christmas is commercial enough without this, though having the Governator punch out a reindeer is pure cinema magic.

3. Home Alone (1990) - Call me sentimental, but violence isn't my idea of celebrating the holiday. (How many movies did these people accidentially leave their darn kid in? - shouldn't someone call Human Services?) People swear by this classic, where a family's left-behind son spends Christmas inflicting an endless stream of injury and insult on clueless would-be-burglars, but heck, if it's Christmas mayhem you want, just go ahead and rent Die Hard.

2. Santa Claus The Movie (1986) - I had almost forgotten this flopped fantasy epic with Dudley Moore as an elf and John Lithgow as villain, and gosh, I wish I could have. Made by the same people who produced Superman in the same style, it is so overdone and downright goofy in re-casting Santa lore, that if you are older than 7, it will drive whatever Christmas spirit you have out of you like a Chuck Norris kick to the solar plexis.

1. The Santa Clause 3 (2006) - Tim Allen kills Santa Claus. Gee, why couldn't it be the other way around? Disney's Christmas cash cow started off kind of halfway cute in the original flick with Tim forced to replace the holiday hero, but gets progressively worse as the series goes along. By installment three it is dowright agonizing, especially with uber-annoying Martin Short added as showtunes-shouting Jack Frost. I never thought anything could make Ernest Saves Christmas look intelligent. Don't do this to your kids, I beg you.