'New Moon' old hat

"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" - As every Stephenie Meyer fan knows, this is the one where studly vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) dumps human girlfriend Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) for her own safety, and she turns to old chum Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) for solace, unaware that he's a werewolf, and therefore Edward's sworn enemy.

Fans will turn out in blockbuster legions, but here are a few of the many things wrong with director Chris Weitz's adaptation: It's really two half moons, or two halves of a movie that don't quite fit. Mopey teenager Bella has all the luster of, well, a mopey teenager. The real rivalry is whether werewolves or vampires can behave with greater preposterousness and pretension.

Finally, "New Moon" is boring, eternally so. The soap-opera melodrama of Stewart, Pattinson and Lautner's performances provides some unintentional laughs. Yet Stewart is on screen almost all the time, and her Bella is just a drag to be around. With her flat speech and listless presence, it's unfathomable how two different sets of monsters could fixate so completely on her. PG-13 for some violence and action. 130 minutes.

* One and a half stars out of four.