Glawe's Outlook

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Chill, Mom

Yikes! I now have two official drivers in the family to worry about! Marissa turned 16 on Jan. 3 and the top priority of the day, aside from eating birthday cake and opening presents, was to turn her school permit in for a REAL license.

"I hope my picture looks good," she said worriedly as we were walking up the courthouse steps. (It does.)

I don't like having my picture taken but I know that I can't bow out when it comes to having a picture taken for my license. Some of those pictures have been downright horrid while some have been so good that I have been tempted, since I don't have many pictures taken of me, to have a 5x7 made. (I don't really think the DOT workers are THAT accommodating.) Don't you think we should be allowed to have a couple clothing changes and have a portfolio of photos to pick from?

Those years that the pictures just didn't work out perhaps kept me a better driver - I really didn't want to get stopped by a policeman and have to show my license.

A new show, a kind of remake of the favorite "Candid Camera," had a gag where a posing police officer asked many drivers to see their license and when they handed them to him, he laughed hysterically, to the point of rolling on the ground. Most of the people were not amused.

It is next to impossible to lie about your age on your driver's license, but how about that weight and height thing? I can tell the people at the counter that I am 5' 9" - only a small fib even though they would probably figure it out when they saw me barely clearing the counter. But it would be advantageous to me, if the number were recorded onto my license. When my kids started harassing me about being short I would merely pull out that license and tell then, "No - it says right here I'm 5'9" so I must be."

And the weight. I don't own a scale so I figure that number remains constant on my license until proven different. Maybe next time I will answer to the workers that I am "hopeful" to be at a weight below the figure that had been listed on my license for the past four years as a sort of incentive to lose weight. (Do you think those state employees would go along with that?)

Thank goodness that they don't give citations for fraudulent fudging of the weight.

Anyway, with two drivers now, and a third waiting in the wings for her school permit, I think I will need some medications to calm my nerves. They are all good drivers but there is still that image that they should still be that age when they were riding in my van in a car seat.

"Chill, Mom," is their advice.

* Reach the columnist at lglawe@stormlakepilottribune.