Glawe's Outlook

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A day without mom

Mothers of high schoolers - let's all take a break and meet at the spa for some very much needed rest and relaxation for a day to see how our offspring fare without us around.

We have spent hours upon hours to get to this point in our lives, and theirs.

We were the ones who taught them their colors and shapes. Hopefully by now, as drivers, they know that the red octagon-shaped sign means to stop.

I would like to see how they would handle these things without me if I were gone an entire day.

* Cooking - I am afraid their cooking skills have limited them to anything that could be popped into a toaster or the microwave.

* Washing clothes - Why? "You mean I can't wear this shirt again that I wore for two hours of football practice?" Go ahead, buddy, and let's just see what kind of a chick magnet you are!

* Homework - It never fails, after a full day's work (and then some) my youngest seems to think I am the smartest person in the whole wide world and am the only person that can help him with any homework questions he may have. I guess I should feel honored that he has put me above all others in the house (three siblings who are on the A honor roll and a dad that graduated college with honors) but after a full day (and then some) of work, I would rather concentrate on being a couch potato than figuring out how potatoes grow. But I always give in and help him out.

* Taxi driver - While three are in high school, only one has a driver's license, one has a school permit and one a regular permit. If brother can't be conned (it takes food or money) to haul the girls somewhere other than school, I am the one that they come to for transportation. They would be stuck at home, God forbid, and bored to tears, if mom wasn't around to drop everything and take them where they want - not need - to go.

* Brunt of jokes - Just who would my kids make fun of if I were gone for a day? Each morning the boys think they need to measure up to me - literally. I am about a foot shorter than Jordan, who insists he can't see me because I'm so close to the ground and he's so high up.

Austin just passed me up but grows each night so insists on checking to see how much. Only occasionally do the girls make fun of my age.

* Finder of lost things - Am I the only one with eyes in the house? Sometimes, I think I am. I am the one that they turn to when they can't find their shoes (which I have said since they were young to put in the same place when they take them off.) Most times, I come through for them, but not always with a smile.

I think if I were gone an entire day, doing nothing for them for that whole time, I would be greeted by them at the door with... hungry looks, smelly laundry, opened school books and a "come on, mom, ya gotta drive me...."

On second thought, a day off of being a mom would create too much work for me. I'll need to take a raincheck on that trip to the spa.x

* Lorri Glawe is a Pilot-Tribune staff writer. Reach her a lglawe@stormlake pilott ribune.com.