All Grown Up
As the summer winds down and I thought that I would be preparing my youngest to venture off to another year at college, she has thrown me a curve. She has decided that perhaps it was time spread her wings and live on her own...permanently.
Being three hours away to attend college was a struggle for not only me but also for her. I have been fortunate in that my children and I remain extremely close. To the point that they are often harassed and ridiculed at how close we really are. There is nothing that we wouldn't do for each other or say to each other (sometimes I could do without that). We have spent so many quality years building a caring and trusting relationship. If a day goes by that I don't hear from one of them, I panic to where I am sure that there must be something wrong. If one shares something with another, the hotline begins. It goes down the line until it gets back to the initiator, then perhaps it goes around again. If someone hurts one, they hurt all. There may be instances where I truly thought that they would kill one another, but as soon as one of them has gotten her feelings hurt by an outsider the rest are there to protect. Don't mess with theses four because I will not be responsible for their reactions to someone's thoughtless actions.
Consequently the youngest struggled being so far from her family that she has made an adult decision to take her classes either at ICCC or continue at Kirkwood and take those classes online. You gotta love computers! She has also decided to move out of our home into an apartment with one of her high school classmates. My reaction was one of sadness thinking that her going off to college was traumatic enough, but now she is moving out into her own domain. She won't be there when I need someone to grunt at me in the mornings, she won't be there to hog the t.v. remote or leave her hair in the sink. I will miss those moments immensely. I may have gotten some ridiculing from her, but I got the long talks, too.
When asked why she doesn't stay at home so that I can make sure that she is safe, so that I know that she is being taken care of, and so she can save some money, she replied, "Mom, you don't live with your parents when you are 20 years old."
It's not fair. Where does the time go? I miss the days when I was needed and a moment didn't pass when she was demanding my attention. Granted she is only moving from Alta to Storm Lake and I will be able to stop in and visit at anytime. It's just that how will I adapt to knowing that she's not going to walk in the door at any time, that I won't get the phone calls asking for her, the many parcels of junk mail that are addressed to her at our address, there won't be that Robyn presence felt anymore. I am saddened by this adult decision but also proud of the adult that she has become.
* Reach Trudy Schroeder at firstname.lastname@example.org