Schroeder's Point

Monday, February 6, 2006

Differences: men & women

In my forty something years I have learned a few important and a few not really that important things. None so important, though, as the basic differences between the workings of men and women.

I have noticed that most men enjoy a good conversation, especially when it revolves around them. Women love a good conversation when it involves any gossip about anyone else.

Men will do laundry as long as they can throw whites and darks in at once with as much detergent as the lid allows. But they will not do anything that looks like it is worn beneath a lady's clothing. A woman has it all figured in denominations, colors and a smaller amount of detergent than is required.

A man will pay two dollars for a one dollar item that he wants. A woman pays a dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.

A man buys a car because it goes!!! A woman buys a car because it goes. A man buys a car because of the size of the engine. A woman buys a car because of the size of the trunk. Men buy a house for the size of the garage. Women buy a house because of the size of the house attached to the garage.

Most men can't match their socks let alone an outfit. Most women have socks to exactly match their outfits. Men buy clothes on a need to buy basis. Women buy clothes on a because they think they need basis.

When men get upset they get grumpy. When women get upset they cry. And when women cry, men get grumpier. Men say what they mean. Women mean what they say. Most men jump to conclusions. Most women take time to check out the specifics - then jump to conclusions anyway.

It takes most men ten minutes from the time that they jump in to the shower until they are ready to walk out the door. It takes most women ten minutes to jump into the shower. Most men can't walk past a mirror without checking themselves out. Most women can't walk past a mirror, a window, any shiny object with out checking themselves out.

Believe me; I am not speaking of one man or woman in particular. It has taken me years to make these observations about the differences between the sexes. I'm guessing it will take me at least as many more to figure out the why's.

* Trudy Schroeder is the Pilot-Tribune's bookkeeper, and writes a weekly column. She can be reached at tschroeder@stormlakepilottribune.com