My Life

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Sports nuts driving me nuts

When God created man, He inserted a memory chip for remembering - no, not his wife's birthday or the magical day he was married - but for recalling every single play or every single sporting event he has ever participated in or watched from the sidelines.

I can't help but ask, was that "device" necessary? Has remembering the third play of the third quarter in a football game in 1969 EVER gotten them anywhere?

Now, forgetting a really important date - such as a wife's birthday or anniversary - can be detrimental to health; why wasn't that device programmed?

I give up.

For about the first three years of our marriage, our anniversary occurred on a different date. (What's my husband think, that it's one of those floating holidays?) Since I now put up huge posters everywhere in the house to remind him of our anniversary date, he remembers (but if it falls on a Saturday or Sunday, game day, of course, the game takes precedence over me.)

The day we were married - Nov. 12, 1988 - there was a Hawkeye football game in progress. As we gathered for pictures at the church, darn if my groom-to-be didn't find a radio.

When pictures were being taken not requiring him, he was off listening to the game. And when we needed him for a picture we had to break him away from the station.

I admit I had visions of him shutting down the ceremony until the game was over or secretly inserting an ear phone into the radio and listening to the game while taking our vows.

Now he can probably tell anyone anything about that game, even the day, time and year it was played, but he can't remember the day he was married.

I guess I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew the sporting events were important to my then new beau from nearly our first date - when the Twins were on their way to the World Series back in 1987. I made him think because I was a native of Minnesota that I loved that team (I did go to two games - once when I was in sixth grade and once with a group of college friends!)

Actually, I knew if I didn't want to watch the games with him, we wouldn't have a date because he was going to watch those games with or without me. After all, he'd only known me a few weeks and he'd known the Twins since he was a youngster.

I admit, I deceived him. He thought he was getting involved with a real sports enthusiast - not one that would eventually be jealous of his teams (the Twins, the Vikings, the Hawkeyes.)

When a game comes on, I'm wasting my breath to even talk to my husband or my oldest son - who is writing statistics down constantly. I simply don't exist (unless there is food or drinks needed.)

I somehow think those two sports nuts think they are part of the team, participating right there on the field or court with the rest of the players. If it doesn't work being part of the team, then they try to be the coach. Now, ladies, I'm sure I'm not the only one to observe this situation - just what good does it do to analyze a "stupid" call and yell out to the TV what "should" have been done? I won't be convinced that it does any good until the players on the screen looks directly at my husband and son and yells back, "sorry coach Glawe."

I became nervous with each baby we had - what if the time came to go to the hospital in the middle of a big game? Fortunately our kids knew the importance of sports and waited it out, otherwise, I probably would have gone to the hospital alone.

Oh, what a bad rap I'm giving my husband and son. Actually, coming to work is nearly as bad - my desk is next to sports editor Chris Todd's - and along with new staffer Nic Kolodziej and comp department's Tim Marlow, they get into quite the sports conversations some days.

There's no getting away from it.

These sports nuts are all driving me nuts.

- Lorri Glawe is a Pilot-Tribune staffwriter and pens a weekly column for readers. She can be reached at lglawe@stormlakepilottribune.com