Remember 'darndest things'

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Kids do say the darndest things. I wrote down many of the things that my own kids said when they were younger - and though they are now all teenagers or approaching that age, I continue to write things down. I bring out my little scribbles every so often and they bring me a few good laughs. There is another reason I have held on to their "quotes" - they can be used for blackmail purposes!

I share with you some of the classics.

* When my niece and nephew were expecting their second baby, Marissa, then age 6, asked how that baby got in my niece's tummy. Without going into much detail I simply told her that moms and dads just know how to make babies.

"You mean," Marissa said, "they put the heads and eyes on them?"

(Sounds like an assembly line!)

* I caught this conversation between 5-year-old Jordan and 4-year-old Marissa.

"Did you know they had horses in the old-fashioned days," Jordan said.

"Why didn't they have cars," Marissa questioned.

"They didn't have car stores. No one knew how to make cars," Jordan answered.

"Well, who made horses?" Marissa again wondered.

"No one made them. People just went to the horse store to get them," Jordan concluded.

* While reading one day to Marissa, then age 4, she said to me, "I'll read to my baby when I'm a mommy, too. But I hope I won't be a mommy for a long time." I asked why and she replied, "Because then you'll be dead."

* When Marissa was 5 and Meghan was 4 I was in on this conversation.

"Zach told me he was going to marry me. I said yes. But he asked Amanda to marry him, too, and she said yes, too."

Meghan, at 4 commented rather sadly, "I wonder who will marry me. No one said that to me yet."

(What a thing to worry about at age 4!)

* At the age of 3 1/2 Meghan came up to me and said, "I'm going to move away when I'm 10." I asked her where she would live and she said she would build a house. I then asked where she would get her food and she commented she would go to the store and then come home and cook her food. Not wanting to let up on the conversation I asked her where she would get the money and she was sure she could get a job.

I just had to stop things, here. "Oh, Meg, you can't take care of yourself when you're 10," I said. And she seemed satisfied - until she added, "Ok. I guess I'll wait til I'm 11."

* I found my kids to always be silly and say silly things when they were young. And one day I asked Meghan, at 3, if she knew she was funny. "Some days me is, some days me isn't."

* When my kids were young we visited the parks quite often. One day we were at Chautauqua Park and it was time for a bathroom break. My son Jordan, age 4, who has big brown eyes, went into the men's room and Marissa, age 3, who had bright blue eyes, (they have since turned to green!) followed him in there. "Marissa," I said, "you can't go in there." She questioned why. "Jordan has something that you don't have," I said, again, not wanting to go into details.

"Yea," Jordan replied. "You don't have brown eyes!"

* Discussions came up often when my kids were little of what they wanted to be when they grew up. Young Marissa told us, "I want to be a daddy." We told her she couldn't be a daddy.

"Ok. Then I want to be Humpty Dumpty." (Good choice!)

* I somehow missed writing down some of Austin's early quotes but now, at age 10, he still surprises me. Just the other day he commented that he had a girlfriend. We were all surprised that he would tell us that.

"Yea. But she doesn't know. She's three years older and I was afraid if I told her she would slap me across the face," he said.

* When Austin was writing his first middle school essay about a summer adventure, he wrote about the opportunity he and his dad and brother had to see the Vikings at their football camp and staying in a hotel for a couple days.

I read the essay when he was finished and jokingly said, "but you didn't say in there that you missed me."

In a hush, hush kind of voice he added, "That's between you and me, Mom."

(Shhh. I won't tell!)

* It is tradition at our house to celebrate birthdays with a cake and to dig into it first thing in the morning to get the birthday off to a good, sweet start. It was Marissa's birthday and the candles were "fired up" and ready for her to blow out. Jordan, 5, was eating a piece of banana bread, his favorite, choosing it over cake. "I better not stand too close," he said when he saw the candles glowing. I asked him why.

"Banana bread burns, doesn't it?"

(Well, yea. If you throw it right in the flames. Did he think his bread was a magnet to fire?!)

I hope these quotes will bring a few smiles to you. And if you haven't already, and if you remember them, write down the fun things the kids in your family have to say - you'll enjoy them for entertainment purposes later.

- Lorri Glawe is a Pilot-Tribune staffwriter and pens a weekly column for readers. She can be reached at lglawe@stormlakepilottribune.com