So, we have reached the 6th grade year, and this was the year my daughter was bi-sexual. Everything was going good, and her friends were very accepting. Paige had good grades and good relationships with kids in her school, and the faculty. Her 6th grade teacher was great and Paige really enjoyed her class. Paige was the "Top Dog" this year she claimed. I find that to be funny, because I remember my 6th grade year and it wasn't very nice. I was in a school that was Pre-K-12th grade though. Paige was spending her last year at AC-T, and then going on to Sioux Central.
It was around mid April, and my husband and I came home to a note on my pillow. I opened up the note, read it, and sat it back down on my pillow. I went out and acted like I hadn't seen anything. My husband and I went outside and I finally got a few moments of peace to show him what I received on my pillow. As my husband was reading the note, I stared at him to see what his reaction would be. I didn't get the reaction I thought I would get. He simply said, "What".
Our middle son got invited to go swimming with some friends, and my husband and I decided that when he left we would talk with Paige. Our middle son knew something was going on, but left anyways. We were happy he did because we didn't know how we were going to approach this situation at all. When he left for the pool, it was my husband, my one year old, and me at the house. We asked Paige to come out to the living room and talk.
The note that was left on my bed read,
Dear Mom & Dad,
I am Transgender FTM (Female to Male). I want to be a boy. I've never felt like a girl. I am a boy in a girl's body. This may not be a big shocker because of how I am and how I look. I've always hated the pronoun's she and her. I prefer he, him, and his. This is why I've been so so secretive online and stuff. I have everyone convinced that I am a boy. I am a boy. I hope you guys accept me.
You can about imagine from my earlier parts that I am a big equal rights individual. I grew up with the understanding that everyone should be treated equally, no matter what. As rough of a time I had before I was aware of how Pey felt, I was so proud of him for finally coming out to us. We knew in the back of our heads that there was more than just the bi-sexual aspect of things. My son likes girls. He has had a couple girlfriends this past year, but they haven' t worked out. He has also had some rough times with bad decisions being made to cope with some painful things.
Pey is no different than when he was my daughter. He hasn't changed any except his haircut, and clothes. He wears a binder to cut down on the female body parts he still has, but he has the same personality (very funny), and he is still the same caring and loving individual we raised him to be. I know there are a lot of obstacles he is going to have to get through in life, from people not agreeing with his choices, to heart break and disappointments in life. He is in therapy to help learn coping skills for these situations. I don't think a lot of people understand the emotions of going through such a change in life. There are emotions for the whole family, not just the individual. Pey has came a long way, and he even loves school now. He loves the freedom to be who he is finally. He has so many friends and staff at school behind him and who support him. He doesn't use the girls or boy's bathrooms. He uses a private bathroom or the nurses office to change for physical ed. He understands until he can classify legally as a male, that he has to abide by the rules and laws.
This year has been a whirl wind for our family with Pey transitioning. There are still times my husband and I get messed up and will say Paige or female pronouns. It takes a lot of time and patience to get through everything that is new to us. We went from bringing this beautiful bouncing baby girl home, to a 13 year old son. Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing. I love all three of my boys. I will say to those families that struggle with their loved one coming out in to the LGBTQ community that there is a grieving process and that is okay! It takes time to get used to the new pronouns or even going to buy an outfit in a different section than you are used to.
Help!! Yes, there is help out there and wonderful people for you to talk to when you are in need or just need to chat. I was lucky and able to find a very nice man to lead us in this journey. I will not print his name as I didn't get his permission, but if he reads this he will know and I just want to say Thank You! We also have Pey's therapist, who has been the biggest blessing in our lives for him. She is working on coping skills with Pey right now to deal with those heartaches that happen in your teenage years. It's so nice to have that support, so please if you are having difficulties and don't know what to do, reach out to me and I will point you in some directions.
The next phase of Pey's life is hormone blockers. We are going to the transgender clinic next year to talk to many doctors about this and other changes that will come. When you are a male trapped in a female body, you still have all those female hormones. They like to say girls are more intense and can cry easier than boys. This has been a problem for Pey. As he is a boy and in his heart and soul is a boy, but he is cursed with the hormones of a female right now. These hormones have lead him to make some bad decisions, so for the safety of my son and to make him more comfortable, he will start these hormone blockers soon. This will also cease the menstrual drama too. I will be happy when that is over (chuckle).
So, to end this blog and the journey I have taken you down, I just want to say Thank you to those readers who have left positive feedback and to our family and friends, we appreciate you and your support. My son can be an inspiration to you and you may now know it!