Satisfied, or sad in life?

As Americans anticipate a lazy, gluttonous day in less than two weeks, one deeply-discounted big box store has a head start on kick-starting another holiday vice.

A circular advertising tantalizingly low prices on electronics and other unnecessary items were released Thursday - yeah, I peeked at it too, but cue the fistfights over second-rate coffee makers, scuffles over no-name TVs and bloody noses over has-been gaming systems.

There are only two words in the English language that causes clerks to quiver in fear and shoppers to foam at the mouth: Black Friday.

As a former long-time retail worker slightly jaded after years of verbal abuse and other slews of mistreatment (including cat calendars chucked at high rates of speed with intent to dismember or severely maim) doled out in heaping portions from less-than-jolly customers during the most wonderful time of the year, Black Friday makes me cringe.

But, for the retail sector, the Friday shopping extravaganza sets the entire tone for the holiday shopping season - if a store misses out on its sales goal for being "in the black" on that oh-so-important day, more losses will likely follow in the next five weeks.

Tramplings and pepper sprayings have already occurred - what's next? Cutthroat shoppers tasering and shooting each other in the parking in Hunger Games-fashion before the store even opens?

It already was not enough that stores were opening at crack-of-dawn hours on Friday, now one is moving the piggy stampede back to 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving night.

But in a bloated and sweatpantsed-state, consider purchasing more things you and your friends, neighbors and relatives do not need online - Black Friday and Cyber Monday digital participants offer similar junk at comparable prices, at very little risk of being trampled.

In coming years, we should expect the day of madness to continually creep backwards, eventually settling in before Halloween, pushing all other holidays earlier and earlier.

Unfortunately, it appears most holidays run on only one greed-induced system - the almighty dollar.

Instead of getting wrapped up in finding the perfect goods, choose to spend time with those who matter most this holiday system.

* Ashley Miller is a member of the Pilot news staff. Reach the columnist at amiller@stormlakepilottribune.com