Jerkey is for eating, not wearing

)n the heels of the story of the Oompa Loopmpa-esque New Jersey mother, who supposedly allowed her five-year old to use a tanning bed, the CDC has released its five-year report on the state of sunburns, indoor tanning and skin cancer rates.

Apparently, the under 30 crowd is irresponsible when it comes to sunscreen.

About 5,000 adults across the U.S., ranging from 18 to 29, were surveyed, with over 2,500 of them reported at least one sunburn in the past year, the report stated.

Two-thirds of the adults admitted they did not wear sunscreen regularly. Researchers think the one-third who did wear sunscreen either wore too little or re-applied it infrequently.

Why is this such a big deal? Experts say just one bad blistering burn doubles the future risk of developing melanoma, an often lethal skin cancer.

Women, be ashamed of yourselves, because one-third of white women between the ages of 18-25 tanned indoors, even though 13 percent of them had a previous family history of skin cancer.

Jeremy Brewer, a dermatologist and researcher at Mayo Clinic, said there is no question regarding the link between tanning beds and cancer.

"We've been able to prove that," he explained.

The CDC's outlook on skin cancer rates is grim, with 76,000 melanoma cases yet to be diagnosed this year. Over 12 percent of those cases will be fatal.

Who is at risk for developing skin cancer? The Mayo Clinic cautions individuals with fair skin, numerous previous sunburns and family history to be constantly vigilant when it comes to protecting their skin.

I, unfortunately, fit into that category. Red is a flattering choice for haircolor and makeup typically falls in the porcelain category, a kind way for cosmetic companies to say "pasty white."

Up to age 5 or until my head was too large, I was forced to wear hideous white bonnets, complete with lace trim. Thank goodness for my large Dutch head, otherwise that practice probably would have carried on into my elementary school years.

Any time I wanted to go out in the summertime, I was slathered from head to toe in SPF 1 million, but there were a few exceptions with disastrous results.

During a high school youth group trip to a conference in Georgia, we stopped to spend the afternoon at a Tennessee waterpark. Expired aerosol sunscreen left me with expansive second-degree burn, complete with quarter-sized blisters, across my shoulders. The rest of the week was spent wincing and popping copious amounts of ibuprofen, but kind friends loaned me loose T-shirts and helped me wash my hair---an impossible feat when one can only lift their arms a la John McCain.

Another summer, I made several bad choices: picking two heavy male counterparts for a day-long canoe trip against the wind and forgetting to apply sunscreen on the top of my legs. Never mind the exhaustion or sore arms; my legs were an angry crimson.

For those of you who can become a sunkissed golden brown without the burn, bravo, but remember, beef jerkey is never a good look for anyone. Take care of your skin and try a spray tan instead.