If Iowa hosted the olympics

Winter games in Iowa -

1.) Walking on the ice without falling down.

2.) Driving down a road without being involved in a 10 car pile up.

3.) Hoisting a heavy shovel of snow above your head and throwing it on top of a seven foot pile of snow while actually getting more snow on top rather than having an avalanche.

4.) Getting to and from your destination without getting stuck in a snow drift at least once in the middle of a City street.

5.) Managing to safely pull out from an intersection with 10 feet piles of snow on each side without getting hit by oncoming traffic

6.) Not breaking your foot when attempting to rid your wheel wells of those massive ice stalactites.

7.) Managing to not run a red light because you're able to stop despite pure ice underneath your wheels.

8.) Managing to not get stuck in the middle of an intersection because it's pure ice and your wheels are spinning.

9.) Successfully coaching your car up a hill that is icier than an ice skating rink.