Do we really know Santa?

Christmas is getting closer. I have been pondering over Santa Claus and want to run some of these ideas by you.

I saw Santa at the wonderfully animated Santa's Castle recently and he asked me if I had been naughty or nice. (I answered naughty just to keep him thinking.)

What constitutes being naughty, anyway? And do the same rules apply to adults as children?

I didn't eat my vegetables today (or attempt to put any on my plate for that matter.) Does that make me naughty? A mom trying to teach her young child that it is important to eat vegetables would think so, if she knew how I hid the school veggies from my plate back in elementary school.

I don't always pick up my toys. Sometimes there are just too many toys out there to keep picked up - especially when my kids (my husband fits in this category as well) don't always put their "toys" away either and I have to pick up after them, too.

Going to bed when told is something moms and dads tell their youngsters that Santa Claus is watching for. I usually try to get to bed early but then I usually find something to keep me occupied for an hour or two later, so I break that rule, too.

Do I do what I am told to do? Well, most of it but as I age, some of those things are taking longer to complete (or remember).

So in all these cases, I guess I would be considered naughty.

It's kind of creepy when we hear that Santa can see everything you do and is always watching to see if we have been naughty or nice. What's up with that? Does he have cameras installed everywhere throughout our homes to keep track of us? There are weird people out there that do that very thing - they are called Peeping Toms and they go to jail when they are caught. (Santa, YOU better watch out.)

And speaking of doing things they shouldn't, does Santa even have a license to fly? There could be consequences there - especially if he nips at the egg nog while traveling and is caught - driving while intoxicated.

There are also laws in most cities and communities that pet owners have to "clean up" after their animals when they make a mess. Those reindeer eat so many carrots that have been generously left by little children - there are bound to be messes. I sure hope Santa brings his pooper scooper and places them in plastic bags - and that he doesn't, in the rush, get the bags mixed up with those other wrapped "gifts" he is carrying on his sleigh.

Speaking of gifts, he is breaking and entering every time he slides down the chimney, another cause to throw him in the clink - right beside Mr. Matoff.

And what's up with him asking all the boys and girls to leave cookies for him? Doesn't he know all that sugar is bad for him? I'm sure the reindeer would appreciate if no cookies were left for him; it has to be more difficult as the night goes on to get the sleigh into the air - even with less gifts in the sleigh. Not to mention the risk of diabetes and a heart attack...

Though it may not seem like it, I am a fan of Santa Claus, really I am (I have nearly 100 Santas in a collection) and I can't help but smile when I see the jolly old elf. But I just can't help but wonder...

I'm afraid I've conjured up too many things to think about. I may get stuck with a lump of coal this year in my stocking.