Twelve days of Christmas

"The 12 Days of Christmas" is a popular holiday song that contains 364 gifts, if they are all added together. Wow!

Each year for the past many, the cost of those gifts is calculated - and that price continues to go up.

This year, according to the Christmas Price Index, compiled by the PNC Wealth Management, the cost of those gifts would be $96,824, a 10.8 percent increase over last year's prices.

It appears that the price of the "speciality" birds has seen a huge increase, the report said. The three French hens increased a whopping 233 percent in price in fact! Apparently the cost of feed and the availability of them is the reason.

Gold prices are up, pushing up the cost of the five gold rings, as were the cost of the "entertainers" - the ladies dancing, infact, increased to over $6,000, and was the most expensive gift on the list.

There were four of the items that didn't increase - the pear tree, the calling birds, the geese and the maids a milking.

The prices are calculated by PNC Financial Services Group which checks with jewelry stores, dance companies, pet stores and others.

Well, my true love is kind of cheap; he would never give me all those gifts, especially at those prices, so, I have come up substitutes that would not be nearly as expensive.

Instead of partridge in pear trees, I'll take cardinals in apple trees - we have plenty of both at our house.

On the second day, pigeons can be substituted for the turtle doves and the third day. I would have my true love consult the BV County 4-H'ers who participate in the poultry show at the fair on the third day - there are some great looking hens there; no need for French hens.

Instead of calling birds on the fourth day, some of those cockle-doodle-do'ing roosters from the 4-H'ers would suffice.

On the fifth day, instead of gold rings, well, onion rings would be fine for me.

Six geese-a-laying? With all those Canada geese in the Storm Lake parks in the spring and summer, I can wait for that gift until then!

The swans-a-swimming can also be located right here in BV County during the spring.

On the eighth day, the maids-a-milking, well I would hope my true love would arrange for me to visit one of the area dairy farms and watch them do the milking.

Nine ladies dancing are easily accessible - there are phenomenal dancers at the local schools - in fact they just returned from state competition.

On the 11th and 12th days which call for pipers piping and drummers drumming, of course their services could be obtained at the high school music department.

I really don't need all those gifts - what would I do with all those birds, anyway? And the onion rings, well, they would probably be eaten before I received them - it's the thought that counts, he would tell me.

But my choices are much cheaper than the original gifts - which would you choose?